Archive | May, 2012

the face of a mermaid

16 May

And it worked…. again. Thank God. So now I can heave a sigh of relief, and lay off the coffee a little, because if I mess up the fish, only their momma’s gonna know. You mess up a human face-well, that’s a little more problematic. I ended up using a different photo reference, rather than my daughter, because the picture I wanted to use was hard to see enough detail. This picture is for an Odyssey of the Mind fund-raiser. One of my students, Olivia, suggested it. Once it’s finished, I’ll  scan it into Photoshop and ultimately it will go into a poster via InDesign. I’ll add words to it…etc.

My mom, Sharon to you, stopped by this morning, observed  my progress and just said “she looks so sad…”

Yeah…

Sad or introspective? I would imagine modern mermaids theoretically get pretty introspective/angry as we systematically overfish and otherwise destroy their habitat. I just read COD, a biography of the fish that changed the world, by Mark Kurlansky, so I’m a bit touchy about this subject. It’s worth reading. I hear his other books are just as good.

COD is a delightful read, quirky, interesting and unbelievable in the portrayal of how shortsighted yet optimistic we humans can be. Not knocking anyone- it’s just overwhelming to consider what we are doing to our planet.

Self love. The only solution. So easy to say, so hard to do.

More on that another day. Costco calls. And daughter #2’s final term paper…

Paris, Pandora and paranoia

15 May

See how I jump around? Honestly. But I love this mermaid…I’ve wanted to do a picture of my oldest daughter Zoe, forever-and this is the one. So in between the Zinnia girl and the Green man popped this. I started her somewhere last week and am ready to color her in.

This pen and ink part is easy – just draw and outline like a coloring book. First in pencil, then a .25 and .35 rapidograph pen.  I had a Google image search for ‘reef fish’ on my computer screen for reference, and Pandora playing. Pandora is fabulous. A music genome project…google it. Welcome to a new addiction. Usually I draw to French café music- (I prefer background music where I do not get distracted by the lyrics, in this case, because I do not understand them.) I think French chanson also makes me feel very, well, un-Mid-western. Somehow it imparts a subtle aura of coolness which is not always present to the degree I’d like in suburban Illinois…add to this, in the afternoon, a glass of wine? Well, decadent…french coffee houses, art, Paris in the 1920’s….understandably, my Muse just binges on this. However, for reasons that I do not understand, this mermaid piece needed the support of ‘Upside Down radio’ which is a Pandora station based on the song by Jack Johnson. Hootie and the Blowfish, The Postal Service, Bob Marley- that kind of music. So that is what I’m listening to, and since it’s only 9am, no wine- I’m caffeinating however.

I am also stalling. Where it gets scary for me is now, when I begin to color in the portrait/face part. This always scares the hell out of me. Every time. Although I’ve done a million faces, it’s like I have no idea what I am doing. I have to look at other pictures I’ve done to convince myself that yes, I am capable of it. So I sit here now, very hesitant to start. I suppose it’s this excitement; the danger of messing up,  that makes me adore it and fear it so much. Eustress. What if I mess up? I will have to start again (with my microscopic attention span, this is a BIG deal) What if it looks nothing like her? What if …

Nike comes to mind as the only possible solution.

Just do it.

I pick up a marker.

Thursday

10 May

psst…. I ran again this morning…only saying because this is sooo unusual. I feel so much better- usually I wait until the end of the day when I’m tired and ready for a glass of wine. So I am trying this new approach. The app is C25K – couch to 5k – and she tells me when to walk, when to jog…brilliant.

anyway… coffee in hand, I’m in my studio this morning needing to finish up my Green Man. It’s Rob’s birthday present, which is in a couple weeks. I originally set out to do a very simple piece- and as always, there is more in the wings than I expect. I was surprised at what showed up – I only saw the green man and the knot work border. It  says ‘you are love – you are loved’ around the circle, with a very fancy scroll/leafy background. These are the things that I do not see in the ‘planning’ stages. Which is why I suppose, I love to just start with a half-formed concept – because what I did not intend is often so lovely.

I was helping my daughter last night with a homework assignment- argumentative paper on overpopulation. Her main challenge is focusing- narrowing down such a broad topic to a very specific statement which she then can argue and to which she can propose a solution. She is a very creative type and kept coming up with new ideas, new realizations of what we are doing to our beautiful planet, and as the spirit took her and she got passionate about it, it became very difficult for her to niche down and limit herself to one narrow corridor of thought. ‘ There’s just so much to say about it…’ she sighed.

I mention this because I find in the ‘real’ world, one’s ability to be specific, set goals, have a plan, to niche down, to limit oneself – is expected and encouraged. But as I sit here, half in the ‘real’ world and half in the ‘other’ world, straddling both of my hemispheres, I am choosing to be influenced by something else. I am seeking, waiting for that which pulls me out of myself – that which allows me to see countless possibilities, infinite arrangements -the clamoring of the infinite for expression in finite. It’s such a dance- to be able to be ok with uncertainty, to allow overwhelm, to sit in complete wonder at ‘what is’ and to not want to change it, just to witness it. As artists, we are surrounded and influenced by our culture, and its attachment to ego and certainty. The two killers of creativity. As artists, we hold a position that is overlooked (by ourselves and by our society) in its importance. We hold the curtain back so that others may get a glimpse of that which is beyond- to build a bridge, to help others see what we see- to look with non-physical eyes at what exists beyond our limited perceptions. We allow infinity, mystery and uncertainty into this world. As Einstein is often paraphrased- you can’t solve a problem on the level it was created – it takes new ideas, fresh thought, and inspiration to bring something new into being. Part of my job with my students is to teach them that this uncertainty is a good thing; a necessary thing. That our culture and our souls desperately need inspiration – to be filled with fresh breath, to experience the mystery of life – in addition to our amazing ability to think, to limit and define. Both halves of our brains are necessary in the curiously human ability and purpose of endlessly creating  finite expressions of the infinite – whether an English paper, a decent cup of coffee or a work of art.

zinnia-almost done

9 May

 

This is today’s work-almost done. I had always intended for her dress to be pink….but after all my tangerine tango, well, orange it is. I like it. This is a photo from my phone – not the best, but what I have with me. Made some tea and am about ready to call it a day. I have a show coming up at the beginning of June- which is great motivation. Not that I need any these days. The Muse is present, she and I have struck an agreement I think. I try to remain calm, meditate and open myself to quiet-and she shows up regularly. Much easier said than done.

I even ran this morning, which I do not do, but got the coolest app for my phone (it has to do something well, because photos aren’t its thing apparently) which promises to get me from couch to 5k. Well. We shall see about that.

Inspiration.

4 May

I am always looking around for inspiration- color, a bit of fabric, a flower, a poem. I even have this great little book The Pocket Muse by Monica Wood. It’s many pages of short ideas, quotes and images to jumpstart the right brain – great for those times when I’ve become too reasonable. Stuff like this:

‘There comes a point in any long piece of writing(or any project really) – and even in some short ones- where the writer loses faith in her ability to unwind the ball of yarn that has taken so long to tangle up in just the right way. Don’t quit on yourself. You might need a few weeks away from the piece to gain greater perspective, but the solution exists somewhere in your subconscious. Faith is exactly the right word for what you need right now. Keep going.’

And I wonder -really? Not every one else knows exactly what they are doing? They don’t always know the next step? Just like me. The poet David Whyte said that if you know the next step that you are going to take- you’re living someone else’s life. If you have absolutely no idea what your next step will be, you can be fully confident that you are firmly settled in your path. That’s nice -I’m right on track.

Anyway- inspiration. I find this absolutely amazing – this, Tangerine Tango – is the Pantone color of the year. Released every year, a new color is revealed, eagerly awaited by the fashion, design and many other industries. Google  ‘ Tangerine tango’ or ‘pantone color of the year’ and see what I mean. Talk about inspiration! Always fresh, and in this case uplifting- orange, color of change (appropriate for supposed ending of world), sacral chakra, creative expression. Who gets to pick this color of the year? I’m just glad someone does.

today’s portrait in the works

3 May

I love zinnias. And portraits. I have three or four pieces that I’m working on right now. I used to stick to one piece from start to finish, in fear of the dreaded

‘Why don’t you ever finish what you start?”

My husband, who is the reason everything in our lives runs so smoothly, has never actually said this to me, but I know he worries a little about my non-linear process, where nothing has a clear beginning or end. I used to worry about this too. Not so much anymore.

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve become more comfortable with myself and my work style- plus, I get too many new ideas and too easily BORED to stick to one thing. This picture though is my favorite today. I love to do portraits with a unexpected backgrounds. More fun to create.

Wow – I just realized a blog perk! Accountability. I feel as though I have to get moving on this now that you have seen it. Hmmm…could also be seen as pressure…I love it!

ok. here goes!

3 May

Well…rather at a loss for how to start…and after many days of trying to write the ‘The perfect opening post’ – I have given up and decided on following the advice of Lauren Artress who says often:

“If a thing is worth doing, it is worth doing poorly.”

She says that it gets her over the hump of perfectionism.

I am starting a blog, to tell you a little about what I do, how I do it and why. Also, for company. Being an artist is a wonderful thing, but long days at home alone by oneself is not a good recipe for sanity….

I look forward to learning how to do this, how to reach out to people (which, for some reason I am hesitant to do) and to meet interesting people!

As always, thank you for being interested! Can’t wait to meet you.