Validation is the act of giving validity. And what’s valid here are the concepts of dominion, ability, effectiveness, strength, and worthiness. Real world attributes.
In its bones, validation is not a compliment or approval. It is a recognition of my reality. Who I already am if I would just allow that I’m actually here. I have happened. My life actually is happening. I’m not crazy; I’m valid. I can acknowledge my existence without the feeling of having to continually prove it by performing, doing, achieving, yada, yada…
The moment of being validated feels like this:
- A slight pause, a deep inhale – like someone finally sees what’s been heavy inside me.
- A dropping of armor. Shoulders soften.
- Maybe a hot, quiet ache in my chest, or a tingling in my eyes – the kind that precedes tears, not from sadness, but from relief.
- A spark of uprightness in my spine, not puffed-up ego, but a real sense of embodied wholeness.
- The knowing that I no longer have to fight to be ‘real’.
Well, how about them apples?
Validation is a mirror that doesn’t distort, doesn’t add, doesn’t subtract. It simply says:
‘Yes. That happened. You felt that. That’s real. You are real.’
Validation really, truly then is a feeling state, one that will bloom beautifully – from the inside out.
It is a breaking forth of my own inherent reality – the pressure of ‘not being seen’ has finally found release. It is an exhale after holding my breath – it’s not approval, see? It’s me finally unclenching. Allowing my own personal treasure trove of dominion, ability, effectiveness, strength, and worthiness to be revealed; made visible. Perceived as already present. Like Michelangelo looking deep into that marble and seeing what was already there.
Validation returns me to myself, you to yourself. It doesn’t add anything – it simply stops the hemorrhage of energy spent proving you exist.
I imagine a hand placed lightly over my heart. Or a nod – slow, deliberate…
“I am here.”
Or even an intentional silence that holds space rather than fills it.
Relax. Ground down deeply into your own presence. Simply be.
The Journey 
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