Why don’t I do what I want to do? Why am I afraid? This New Moon, I’m planting seeds of desire. Because who really wants to plant seeds of discord that will reflect back the same? No thanks.
So, by posting this video (below), which may be bad, or good- the point for me was to post it. To post a video for new moon. On the new moon. Not about the moon per se, but the cycle it represents, that of preparation for the understanding that Life is very much inclusive of this thing we call Death.
If you’ve watched it, the absolute clincher for me in actually sucking it up and deciding to post it was that my intended length was 11 minutes. Voila, the video clocks in at 11:08. oy.
This for sure today, was the thing that scared me most. A done deal, no justifications necessary for my intellect, terrifying to my emotions. What if I suck…I’m not an expert…Oh fer feks sek. Get over it.
That said, my mom’s dementia scares me, and the fact that on her discharge papers from the hospital yesterday, it clearly states she was admitted with DVT (deep vein thrombosis) in pregnancy.
WTliteralF.
I’m gonna have a sibling! Matt’s gonna be a middle child! Dear God. She’s 87.
Anyway, it gave us a laugh in an otherwise fraught two weeks. Oliver if it’s a boy, Bethany for a girl…
So that thing you want to do? The Thing that is so clearly your next step? The thing that only you know how to do? The thing you cannot do? Just Do It. (no diggety)
Find that person who will gently nudge you in the right direction. That person that when you look them directly in the eyes will tell you: Yes. It may be scary, may require laying down a burden of past beliefs, probably requires a whole new outlook. But yes, you are indeed the only one suited for the job. No one else can ‘do’ your next step. Likewise, this time, no one else (but you) can look you square in the eyes and say ‘It’s go time.’
The Journey 