31 Dec

why are we all trying to be men?!! Why do we feel that this is a good idea? I adore Joseph Campbell and love the Hero’s Journey; like I loved the latest Star Wars. But as I explored in my work ‘Banished’ – I’m just wondering who, exactly, is home to welcome the Hero as he returns- as he surely must. The Hero’s Journey is half the path. Half the story. Woman is the other half. Whether that’s our ‘inner feminine’ (beyond gender) or ‘woman herself’ makes no difference. She- although admittedly comprising a part of us all- has been down played, excluded, cut out. Why?

We concern our self, our culture, our world with death and fear, (yet paradoxically refuse to even admit that death/our return is our final reality) so we excluded Life. We have become ‘beings for death’ as Heidegger put it.

We are not Beings for Life. And  I wonder if it’s largely due to the cultural/western attitude that the Hero’s Journey is the only path that exists. Don’t get me wrong-it’s a wonderful and necessary Way- for the masculine. It can serve the feminine in a pinch. But it leads to Things- to conquest, overcoming, challenges met, dragons fought.  Possession.  Achievement.  Status. Power. None of these things have any staying power.

When all the battles have been fought- where is the sustenance meant to be found? In religion. In your faith right? That’s what carries you through to death, that’s what makes it all bearable to many. Hope and faith. But I find here again, half the story. If we agree that the Hero is necessary- as is the wise man he becomes when he returns with his gift for the world – why is it so hard for us to imagine that it is The Woman that he comes home to? The keeper of the Fire, the house, the relations, the love. Where does Odysseus want to go after it’s all over? Home. To his wife. To the Feminine. The healing, restoring, calming, nurturing presence. The ultimate Mother. I am not Pagan. My native language is Christian. I actually don’t know where I stand with all this. I just deeply feel that there is a Divine Presence that is genderless, yet easily encompasses both aspects of the human psyche. And we have for thousands of years felt that the ecstasies of the feminine side was only privy to mystics, monks, nuns, and spiritual seekers – and women, those poor weaker beings, had little if any access at all. We have been carefully, painfully taught not to identify with our very nature. God is present whether you call him or not said Jung. I will venture to bet that the Mother of us all, Wisdom, Love, Eve, Kali, etc. is equally present, bidden or unbidden. And very much available to anyone. no training, no meditating, no big deal. It sounds the same in any language: “Hello God. Are you there? Yeah…can I talk to Mom?”

why have we stopped observing the half of us that represents mother? Why have we all committed matricide in one way or another just like the ancient ‘heroes’ who tried so hard to destroy all representations of the Feminine Divine? Why do we continue to pretend that the only ‘things’ of any importance are what we can get our little hands on? We are human and yet…I know when I hit that contact with the Divine that is pure Love, pure Life I am connected with ‘Other’- an other that contains me. All of me. It doesn’t ask -politely- for any bit of my humanity to wait outside. It accepts and loves all of me. All of us. It loves us as we are, who we are, our process, our mistakes, joys, loves, tries and epic fails. What else is Love and therefore Life if not an all-inclusive, open bar, round trip adventure? For anything to be an adventure – there has to be a return. Stop down playing the return. We are all going to grow older. we are all going to die. This is big time scary stuff. Our greatest fear. Remember that even in the Bible returns were marked with feasting and joy. Who was supervising and helping with the cooking? Who cleaned the house and got the kids ready? Who made sure our favorite dish was included in the menu? Who still invited Uncle Ed even though he got so wasted last year? Who told us we looked nice and to please go wash our hands? Yep. The Mama.

Our Return is in the hands of God/Mystery – the biggest unknown that we will face in our lifetime. Does it make me less human if I choose to see my feminine and masculine nature reflected there? That this Love – All Inclusive Love- Wisdom, what the Old Testament names as Sophia  – is one big  glorious Return where nothing is left behind and ‘God’s” family means everyone? A place called home, where we can rest, relax and restore ourselves. I return every night in sleep- rested and refreshed- that’s the idea anyway. I kinda like it now that Mom is tucking me in too.

Happy New Year!

3 Responses to “women”

  1. Brian Koukol January 2, 2016 at 12:26 pm #

    Thanks Janner,

    Please change our email address to:


    Thanks and happy new year.




  2. janet balboa January 1, 2016 at 9:08 pm #

    Yes-this is my word press site though and i cant change your email address in the program . You just have to follow me again, then it will have your new address! !!!! .

  3. Brian Koukol January 1, 2016 at 8:45 pm #

    you are using the wrong email address we had to change and this one will so

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