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Embrace the Crescent Moon: A Week of Inner Work

21 Nov

The Dance of the Crescent Moon lasts about a week – on a calendar it’s roughly 7 days. Bounded by the New Moon and the First Quarter Moon, lies a sequence that invites us to remain comfortably introspective, more ‘dark’ than ‘light’, more soft than hard. More open than closed; dreaming of color; tilting at our collective windmills.

“reculer pour mieux sauter”, a French phrase often translated as ‘taking a step backwards in order to jump further forward’. I have had this idea of a bow being drawn back, and how that backwards stretching will inevitably impact how fast and far the arrow will travel. There is a tension here, a purposeful building and storing of energy – until the right moment comes along, and the arrow flies.

This Crescent Sequence affords us a week, roughly, to look around at our lives and really notice the set and the setting that we participate in and with. We have time and space now, time for tweaks, considerations, last minute changes, before the house lights go down and the curtain goes up. Attention lavished here builds like the tension in the bow. This tension signals a certain getting readiness, it is preparation, and its goal is the nothing less than the target.

The target in our case, is the First Quarter Moon. For now, we prepare ourselves. These are the days of actively watching for synchronicity and serendipity, listening to whispers from within, practicing openness and graciousness to what is coming towards us. Taking stock of what is around us, within us, and how these things may be related.

Often called shadow work, this lunar inspired period of intentional tension building, observed consciously, allows us to metaphorically send a tap root down deep into our own soft, rich pay-dirt. All around us, sap is running low, tides are low, the darkness of crescent moon is still holding more dark than the light it reflects.

According to many traditions, this is also a time where we can access our own rich inner darkness, with the support and confidence of our ancestors, our lineage… for who else could make up the very soil we stand upon today? The actual people, those who make up our family tree- unique to each of us, -our ancestors – the rich body wisdom, of our powerful tribe. Accessable.

Regardless of what is happening on the surface of our lives, here in the depths is the opportunity to ground deep into ourselves, work with our ancestors, our lineage, our essential callings.

Everything originates here, with the inner work; out there in ‘reality’ we play out/experience the story of our interior life. Take this week, this sequence to listen to what is be percolating down in the deep. The tap root of the mightiest oak starts as a little filament, hardly visible to the naked eye. Eventually it will anchor the tree; drawing nutrients and water from deep within the earth. In our hurried minds, the urge to let the the show begin before the stage has been set, – all this has a time and place. But that time is not now. Draw back instead, and take pause. Observe. Notice. Listen.

Building this tension, cultivating your energy – this is a Master Level Life Skill. And learning a new skill usually requires Attention and Repetition. Which can suck. I personally whine a lot in the early stages of any change, let alone- god forbid, something new.

So the good news is this; The crescent moon, long associated with gestation and rising energy, is NOT about learning. All She asks of you is to have faith in your process, relax a little, (soft body; deep breath) and give yourself some space.

This monthly retrograde movement of intentionally heads us back into the mix. We can better spring forth. With this calmness in our personal inner world, the vibration we are constantly emitting into our collective field(s) is cleaner as well.

and remember…

Tension and Discomfort are the persistent feeling of incompetence as we get better at a skill.
~Seth Godin

The artist and her shadow

22 Jul

I sit with fear a lot these days. And I wrestle with what feels like needing permission.  

‘Permission…for what? From whom? Why am I so scared?’

Permission to exist as I am. To speak from the center of my soul without translation. To create without asking if it’s useful, marketable or coherent. To offer my work- my voice, my drawings, my breath – as it is, as I am: sacred, unfinished, vibrating with mystery.

Permission? ……from the legacy that says be competent. Be perfect. Be in control. Be of use. Be polite. (But do not cry too loud. Do not rage. Do not fail. Do not make a mess….…)

………….from myself- from the small-me who was brilliant and strange and radiant and really needed a witness, not a boatload of managers…

I’m scared because I feel my body remembers. It remembers how dangerous visibility once was. How costly failure was. How tight the corset of expectations has always been.

And yet here I am- breathing, speaking, tending to my transformation. Feeling the anger, the fear, the fragility, the restlessness, the tenderness – and not to calcify it, but to offer it ample space. Not erasing my old stories but letting the threads complete a weave through my voice, my art, my life, my becoming.

I speak all day with people who voice fears, cries of anguish, deep sorrows, regrets and lost dreams. I’m learning a lot. Opening up. I see that we all contain radiance and rage, control and surrender, service and sorrow.  We are all busy braiding grief and reverence together, in our own beautiful way.

I’m tending to transformation like a rite of passage. A portal to be walked through. A doorway into who-I-could-be at the cost of what I have been.   I’m afraid because it’s time. Time to begin without certainty or formula. Not foolish, but sacred. For all of us doing this work, it’s like we are the midwife and the child- birthing ourselves through this sacred mess. Oof.

I’m finding that I don’t have to fight or fix my fear, I hold her, and then I speak. It’s more of a posture, the luminous clarity of belonging to yourself, with fear resting beside you and your voice gently rising anyway.

As for fear? Let her sit beside you. Let her rest her head on your shoulder. You don’t have to cast her out.

Just don’t let her hold the mic anymore.

Unlocking Creative Potential: A Teacher’s Perspective

15 Sep Tools of the Trade
Tools of the Trade

When my student is beyond excited. When they have that look in their eyes. When I know that something clicked, an alignment occurred with their soul. We are together for an instant in this blissed out moment that feels like the entire universe exhaled an immense and satisfied ‘YES!’

Last week, Jim asked if he could take his picture home to work on. He was so excited to show his parents his work in progress. He’s been in class close to 16 weeks, developing his style; drawing, painting, penciling what he loves- reptiles, lizards and snakes. He is a walking encyclopedia on everything reptile. He is also a connoisseur of morning glories. His enthusiasm is contagious.

Recently, he’s adopted a new tool- Derwent Inktense Ink pencils. He uses an easel, inventing his style of working as he goes- experimenting with different papers, pencils, techniques…and last Thursday- BOOM! Lightning struck and he was hooked. The muse had him by the tail and it was just the coolest thing to witness. He grew exponentially, expanded beyond his old story of his ability and I was able to see THAT MOMENT.

‘Oh wow’ he said to himself, looking at his picture, his hands full of pencils and paintbrushes, ‘I love this. I love this.’

When class was over, as he’s walking out the door, I saw that he also had the case of the studio’s Derwent pencils. Around $150 worth of these amazing things, cradled to his chest.

So I’m like, ‘Er…you’re taking the pencils too?’ A bit hesitant to let these things walk out the door.

His face was absolutely shining, as he said so seriously – “Yes! I promise I’ll be careful with them. I promise! Is it ok if I borrow them, since no one else is using them?’

In that moment, I could see the monetary value of those pencils was absolutely nothing compared to the value that they had to him, this gifted 13-year-old artist who had just discovered an entire world of wonder and awe in a case of pencils. We had discussed the price of him buying the exact set earlier in class that day, so he knew what he was asking.

‘Yes.’ I said.

He didn’t even say thank you or goodbye, (which he does every time, because he’s a polite and gracious kid) he instead just turned and floated toward his mom, clutching the pencils and his drawing.

Is that not connection we’re all longing for? A direct pipeline to joy? This is what is sustainable. Find the things that expand you, that inspire you to become more of who you are. It’s not about ‘Am I ‘good’ at this or any other external marker. It’s about what fulfills you. And that is always an inside job. How do you find a way to let the radiance out? What is it that tickles your fancy, that you do just for the sheer delight of exploration and creativity?

‘Oh wow’ (you overhear your soul say), ‘I love this. I love this.’

And honestly, it feels exactly like the entire universe is exhaling an immense and satisfied ‘YES!’ -through you.

Experiencing Ritual Postures in Meditation

12 Dec

I meditate a lot. At least an hour a day. It’s really been ramping up lately too – the call to meditate is loud now, as opposed to a quieter time when it seemed more like a choice. For me, meditating is listening deeply. I do not necessarily quiet my thoughts or use a breathing technique. I just show up, and usually ‘IT’ shows up as well. I usually experience a quiet state of relaxation and often will get impressions, mainly in words or ideas that I write down if I need to. Not a lot of color, not a lot of detail. The calm I experience walks with me and lingers behind me in indescribable ways. (I think this feeling-state is what St. Patrick was describing – using the words that made sense of it to him – a feeling of presence surrounding you anyway you look at it.)

I meditate mainly because I think it helps. For me locally, and for the world in general. Basically I figure that if I’m in a feeling state of internal kindness and warmth, I am also emoting that vibration out into our collective breathing space, making it a little easier for someone else, including myself.

Today, I tried something new.

Background: In previous classes and groups, we have discussed postures and their effect on ourselves, demonstrated it with Vanessa’s horses, and intended a class structured around ancient power postures. No wonder this book caught my eye at Half Price. Got it Sunday, started reading it last night. Had my first encounter today.

The Book: The Ecstatic Experience, Healing Postures for Spirit Journeys

Authors Belinda Gore and (Felicitas Goodman) open a door to ‘Other’, believing that we as humans are hardwired to connect with it. (Mystics, shamans, and ancient peoples practiced this same living, totally available technology) Ritual postures create a ritual bodyspace. An amazing, ‘no brainer’ (as in no thinking) – all feeling, smelling, touching,tasting, intuition, body, senses, sensual -based feminine/body-oriented) totally experiential way to engage ‘Other’. Yum. Seriously.


Here is what ‘happened.’  wrote down my impressions after a 15 min experience:

My tribe. Men. Glorious dancers – red body paint – shoulders

                                                          chest, face

                                               with white stripes on face,

                                                          under eyes

dancing. Around me.

Looking at me.

Wanting me to recognize them –

My little brother – the drum- also my son,

     dancing, hooting, strutting head thrown back howling

in wolf fur.

       I’m out of shape, losing form – healing me

      They are healing me

    removing my disguises

      it will take time they say

     Sitting there absorbing in this posture.

Blessing me, the hot sun warm, the rattle

     the drumming of the feet, the boots – moccasins

     with beads red, white some blue. Fringe.

  Good boots. I had boots like this. I am one of them.

They are my tribe. They are re-cognizing me thru all

          my disguises – and they are willing me to re-member

them. They Keep looking at me, so surprised to see me

show up like this. One really keeps interrupting his dance

(they have drums) to peer at me, as if I were barely recognizable

But once they recognized me they were laughing – little brother, son

     knew it was me straight away though. They’re laughing delighted

Elevate Your Vibration: Change Your World

4 Dec

Can we change the world? Or is it our perspective that needs changing? I created this presentation to try to clarify for myself how my external world and internal world are elegantly fused and insanely intertwined. How change in ‘my’ world affects change in the ‘outside’ world…

As we change our mind, practice a higher vibration, fall in love with our intimate beautiful selves, I believe that the world will reflect our attitude right back to us. All things change when we do. 
I’ve used images and words to help shift conscious awareness from local to universal and back again. Let me know what you think. 
Here’s the meditation that accompanies the slide show as a practice after watching:

expanding-awareness-meditation_change-the-world7

Please click the link below to watch my Change the World presentation:

https://www.canva.com/design/DADKNKM00T0/view

This was our discussion last night at class – a slide show on changing the world.

Whew…three weeks since our last Monday night class. Snow days, Chicago film screenings, lots of happenings! 

Great to be together in the same space again  : ) 

Much love,

janet