Well, my art, i find, at the end of the day, is really very much all about myself, in the sense of some former me shining a light into places I’m meant to explore a little deeper… and sometimes it takes absolute years for me to meander ’round to an earlier excavation site.
So I find myself re experiencing the Myth of Medusa. Another Teaching Story, meant, like all good stories, to capture the Imagination of the child and thus allow the latent seeds of transformation to hitchhike, and eventually unfurl, far along the trajectory of a life.
I don’t remember what year it was when I drew this particular Medusa, but hey, she’s resonating with me presently.
The journey for me is already years-deep into the Forest Primeval, apprehending an ancient wound that disfigures boundaries, self- worth and my current purpose. How else to say it? Idk. My mind, when I’m inspired to draw, typically prefers to show what it cannot say.
I think Im implying that if a picture can paint a thousand words, you can then imagine possibilities. This also is the eternal beauty of myths. There really is no ‘right’ answer. And Wonder and Curiosity are close cousins to not knowing/being open.
Like Delphi, this open-ended brand of wisdom mainly leaves you to play in the gardens of your own fertile Imagination. And is this not the unconditioned mind? The crossroads where it’s very appropriate to allow yourself to wonder “What if…and then wait for direction. It’ll come. Yours. The direction meant for you. Not what your supposed to do. The direction you’ll walk in, the very present path life is offering you. Who you will become?
So there you have it. Medusa. I wonder what she says to me now? And, the wondering itself shows me a path I haven’t explored fully.
A little project of mine since forever. In the cycle of the moon, it is the First Quarter Moon. half light half dark Balanced Poised… a choice point. Tomorrow, I will walk out into my world under a Gibbous Moon, ideally, with a sense of wonder, delight, desire and adventure. The word commitment is often paired with the1st Quarter Moon and for me it’s becoming a conscious commitment to the practice of ‘getting my heart in the right place’ – opening up and out to the World.
I’m making a deal with myself today, that I will try to pull back on my knee-jerk fears when they come up, and exchange fear for blessing- seeing what is in front of me, the situation, the person, the thing, each event, as it IS. I bless what is; unconditionally.
In theory, this attention will help attend to my shadow, in the moment, as it presents itself. My shadow side doesn’t respond well to the bright light of day, analysis, or reason.
I’m practicing this unconditional self love, figuring that this too is a skill that can be learned. So, the practice. Swap fear for love. And the deal is, it’s just for a lunar week.
And, the picture is Telephoros. An important symbol for this half and half day. He’s Part of my Anam Cara picture- from ages ago. He’s speaking to me again, bringing a soft glow to all the hidden bits.
When my student is beyond excited. When they have that look in their eyes. When I know that something clicked, an alignment occurred with their soul. We are together for an instant in this blissed out moment that feels like the entire universe exhaled an immense and satisfied ‘YES!’
Last week, Jim asked if he could take his picture home to work on. He was so excited to show his parents his work in progress. He’s been in class close to 16 weeks, developing his style; drawing, painting, penciling what he loves- reptiles, lizards and snakes. He is a walking encyclopedia on everything reptile. He is also a connoisseur of morning glories. His enthusiasm is contagious.
Recently, he’s adopted a new tool- Derwent Inktense Ink pencils. He uses an easel, inventing his style of working as he goes- experimenting with different papers, pencils, techniques…and last Thursday- BOOM! Lightning struck and he was hooked. The muse had him by the tail and it was just the coolest thing to witness. He grew exponentially, expanded beyond his old story of his ability and I was able to see THAT MOMENT.
‘Oh wow’ he said to himself, looking at his picture, his hands full of pencils and paintbrushes, ‘I love this. I love this.’
When class was over, as he’s walking out the door, I saw that he also had the case of the studio’s Derwent pencils. Around $150 worth of these amazing things, cradled to his chest.
So I’m like, ‘Er…you’re taking the pencils too?’ A bit hesitant to let these things walk out the door.
His face was absolutely shining, as he said so seriously – “Yes! I promise I’ll be careful with them. I promise! Is it ok if I borrow them, since no one else is using them?’
In that moment, I could see the monetary value of those pencils was absolutely nothing compared to the value that they had to him, this gifted 13-year-old artist who had just discovered an entire world of wonder and awe in a case of pencils. We had discussed the price of him buying the exact set earlier in class that day, so he knew what he was asking.
‘Yes.’ I said.
He didn’t even say thank you or goodbye, (which he does every time, because he’s a polite and gracious kid) he instead just turned and floated toward his mom, clutching the pencils and his drawing.
Is that not connection we’re all longing for? A direct pipeline to joy? This is what is sustainable. Find the things that expand you, that inspire you to become more of who you are. It’s not about ‘Am I ‘good’ at this or any other external marker. It’s about what fulfills you. And that is always an inside job. How do you find a way to let the radiance out? What is it that tickles your fancy, that you do just for the sheer delight of exploration and creativity?
‘Oh wow’ (you overhear your soul say), ‘I love this. I love this.’
And honestly, it feels exactly like the entire universe is exhaling an immense and satisfied ‘YES!’ -through you.
One of the images for my Ho’popnopono deck. Prismacolor marker and prismacolor pencil…
Child of the Universe This image marks the re-visiting of a Ho‘oponopono deck I’m creating — a visual and spiritual journey into forgiveness, love, and remembrance of our divine wholeness.
Ho‘oponopono is the ancient Hawaiian practice of reconciliation and healing, centered around four simple yet profound phrases: I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you.
The card, Child of the Universe, captures that essence of pure innocence — the part of us that remembers who we truly are before the world taught us otherwise. In the youngster’s bright, wondering eyes and the vast cosmic background, I see that infinite connection between human vulnerability and divine light — the heart of what this deck hopes to awaken in all of us.
But, life has been percolating away as always, just undocumented.
I’ve been teaching an amazing variety of students, and classes. Exploring ways and methods of communicating and understanding.
For art instruction, I’ve settled on colored pencil and drawing techniques ’cause they are my absolute favorite to do therefore to some degree, to teach.
I teach Colored Pencil I (beginners) and Colored Pencil II (advanced) from 1 – 4 on Fridays. Since most of the students stay for both classes, my husband Rob asked if that makes all the students ‘average’. Which makes me laugh – then I wonder- if anyone of us stands up during class, are we automatically above average? We discussed this in class last week and laughed our asses off as usual. The average age is 65 – so we share a lot of stories from vastly different paths and journeys. I love it. I love the dynamics of ‘group’ – the participation and delight that emerges. Also sad stuff, like death, sickness and other challenges that we encompass in our little accidental art family.
I’m also teaching Chakra classes, Celtic Art and this semester, trying out:
Exploring Being Explore meditation, consciousness and being. An open discussion class of self discovery. Meditative coloring available. –Inst. Janet Balboa MON 5:30-7pm Age 18 & up (this IS what’s on the site- but the actual time is 7-8:30)
That’s the official description right off the school’s website! How about that for just diving in and trusting! I’ll tell you how it goes. I’m so excited about it, I have so much ‘stuff’ and this is forcing me to unwrap it and get it written down in an easily explainable format. And I love the trust of my students who are signing up for God-knows-what.
Some class topics: The Moon Cycle:
I’ve had this idea in my head for ages, and posted this moon graphic on Instagram last year some time. Not a following of the Moon as such, but a resonance with a cycle- something we forget in our hard-pressed linear existence. there is comfort in repeat-ability, in a turning, a re-volving that is predictable, knowable. Using a cycle to evolve rather than being stuck in countless repetition- rather like bad habits, outworn beliefs…a cycle gives us a platform for change, which ultimately is growth. and that dark part of the moon cycle…used to be called The Shaman’s Rest…a bit of wisdom there right? Maybe resting, reflecting, re-orienting would calm our frazzled nerves and give our body a much needed chance to just BE instead of BEing driven relentlessly. I digress…
So there’s going to be a lot of meat here, and discussion. Other stuff I want to do: Burkhard Heim, how he established the placement of archetypes and the God dimension- fascinated by this. A expansive discussion. mentally challenging. and best of all, no conclusions, just creating an opening.
Meditation – not so much a new technique, but a different method for relating to the outcome- approaching meditation as an interval in eternity- accessible from the present moment.
The Feminine. Where, exactly is the Mother? Is it the Goddess returning? has she left? Are we to be content with the concept that ‘Father’ as Jesus uses it- also includes Mother? The beyond-duality concept of the creative principle? Is this a moot point? These kind of discussions.
Then there’s a weird little ‘story’ that has caught my interest and imagination that runs through the playing cards and therefore the minor arcana of the Tarot. Not using these cards for divination, but for a teaching/ reflection, which I’m guessing was the original purpose, Albigensian in origin or not. Exploring and opening this up a little- why has the protector of woman, the fight for my ladies honor, the holder of ‘woman as ideal’ rather than ‘woman as object’ (much like Mary, but highly individualized, think Dante’s Beatrice…) the Knight – gone missing from our playing cards… the when is interesting in itself.
So. That is where I find myself right now. Creating openings, holding space and excited to see who and what show up. I’ll be posting my class notes and teachings here too. So I also welcome you to the labyrinth of our meanderings.
As if by magic, but actually by eraser, her hand is gone. It was awkwardly coming up from the lower left hand corner, and was weirdly small. This is another thing I love about this technique: eraserability (no, not actually a word says my spellcheck. really? It’s perfect.) The ability to be erased. Nice.
Anyway, using the Verithin pencils is also helping- they are hard, unlike the regular prismacolors, so not as much pigment stains the paper; allowing for easier disappearing acts. This is also marker paper which is very forgiving when it comes to erasing. I also have a very light hand and tend to deposit colors slowly, building them up gradually in intensity.
Indeed a work in process. It was (as always ) meant to be a simple practice, but it gets carried away with itself. I’m not sure if I’m going to outline everything in India ink either. Big style change? Don’t know. But a completely different technique; which means that I have no idea what it’s going to look like. I know what I would like it to look like- from a color perspective- but what I want and what I’ll end up with can be very different.
Further along. Finished a fabulous book yesterday – The Elegance of the Hedgehog by Muriel Barbery. ‘Wow’ is all I can really say about that. And, I will be sending Muriel a copy of this print as soon as I finish it and can find an address for her. Why? I sense the same quest for beauty – the same need/desire to see that beneath all the fear, all the scary stuff is a beautiful, untarnished world that reaches out to us. When we are very quiet and choose to listen, we can hear the muse. Mmmmm…yes.
I’ve also been working on a site – Go for the soul.com – where one can buy my work, if one were so inclined. I have to figure out the shipping bit, but for the most part, it is done. It drives me crazy really, because I always choose drawing over working on the site. So of course, the web site kind of plods along. meanwhile:
JanetBalboa c.2014 Marker on marker paper 12 x 12
I plan to finish and scan this today. Which means I’ll post a far better picture of it, without all the weird light reflection noises. The empty spot will be filled with a shell of the type common to Ireland, (New Grange). The Discus Rotundatus, some theorize, could be a model for the famous spirals. I like the idea of a spiral shape in the ‘Yin” spot – feminine, dark , moist; perfect.
I love that frog. That was late last night. Happy.
New work! Don’t even have a working title for it yet. Something about life-in-death and death-in-life. And how as things are ‘dying’ – returning in various stages to the earth from where they came – they are breathtakingly beautiful. The unbelievable colors of fall, the rich greens of spring and summer, and the golden brown of winter -all part of the same eternal process of life. to which, it seems, most obviously, death is an integral part. So why do we treat it otherwise? The Muslims have a beautiful saying that death in its approach is terrifying, but when it comes, that moment is actually sweet. wanting to see my life -all life- as a totality, not a sum of little disconnected parts. one great big song. With the going out as beautiful and natural and mysterious as the coming in. this picture is helping me cultivate that wider, more inclusive view. I try to come into rhythm. I am trying to honor the ebbs as well as the flows. Each day includes at least a small letting go as well as the ushering ins of the new. Trying to allow both the space they require, without judgment.
Anam Cara. Prismacolor markers, pencils. a few copics too! on marker paper. 19 x 24…Finished!!!
Anam Cara – the beautiful Irish soul mate, the sacred friendship of the heart. I imagine this sacred friendship extended to include earth and sky, the intimate, glorious connection we share with all life. Filled with ‘symbology’ to help meditation and contemplation practice, this piece encourages the heart chakra to flow openly, lighting the world around you. Ygdrasil, the world-tree of Norse Mythology connects land and sky in an intimate bond of ancient kinship. The triple Goddess of Mother, Maiden and Wise Woman (a symbol for the feminine side of the Divine) Sophia encompasses all life with her wisdom, compassion and nurturing. Telephoros, with his lantern, encourages dreams and illumination of the unconscious. We are loved. Unconditionally…
What would it be like to feel this divine connection with the earth? What would life be like if we saw our life and our beautiful earth as divine gifts? What if we believed that we were entirely supported and loved unconditionally and always encouraged to evolve into constantly better versions of our self? What if we believed that the world is for us, instead of against us? What if the way we choose to look at our life and our world – as gifts – could help us live with our fear and terror? What if we accepted our self as we are, exactly as we are, light and dark? And let that be ok for now. See it as a good place to start to practice unconditional love.
It is my prayer today, that all of us who are suffering because we feel not good enough, that we are not needed, that we aren’t worthy of love – my prayer is that we come to know our self in a way that not only accepts, but delights in our differences, recognizes our fears as friends who bring lessons and gifts, and see that our incredible, one of a kind beauty is present precisely because of our darkness. Our broken bits are what make us beautiful. They are part of the prism that scatters the pure light of love at the center of our being. Our greatest gifts are often wrapped lovingly and snuggly in our greatest fears, waiting for us to mature enough so that we can understand what is needed to heal our wounded parts.
We struggle to manifest our gifts. We struggle to come to terms with our self. We struggle to bring our light to the world. Slowly and with the passing of years, we begin to accept our selves. We begin to recognize, appreciate and take responsibility for our own life. We realize that we are complete. We stop the outer projection when we realize that our judging of the behaviors and actions of others is a manifestation of our unrecognized shadow. Our wounds – the dark inner places calling out to us for healing and attention. We begin to make friends with our interior darkness. This place of chaos and unformed things is also our place of potential, of creation. Our womb. As we heal, we are ‘re-born’ , transformed into bringers of compassion, love and acceptance. We become whole and holy. We become lights for the world, living out our Divine connection to our beautiful earth and the beings on it. We can finally recognize and delight in our bond of ancient kinship. We have not been lost at all. We merely lost our way. We have always been known and loved dearly, for exactly who we are at this moment. We are the ones we’ve been waiting for…
The Journey 