Tag Archives: accountability

Embracing Life and Death: A Journey of Surrender

23 Aug

As its most elegant expression, our Moon Cycling facilitates a way to understand/experience ‘being with’.
Being with… the span of our lives, long or short, birth to death- and the beauty and terror we are capable of holding/encompassing as human beings.

Being with our Experience, our lived experience of the events of our life as they occur to us…present, before thought, before our concept of :how: things ‘should’ be in order to maintain our often narrowly conditioned narratives and labels.

I am learning again and again to surrender into a darkness that holds not terror, but healing, a darkness that is ultimately the bearer of light-

It’s a surrender to the depths, in the depths, to that which is, that which holds me regardless of who I am, what I’ve achieved, how i am or the choices I make…unconditional….. ultimately, of course, we name it love. It is not romantic. It is a rough passage. A dark night.The descent is not for the faint of heart.Religious? Goddess? Spiritual? Christ? Pieta? Yes, yet just more labels.

Experientially, for me, IT is what is, and it holds with such grace and partnership that slowly I am unfurling. Allowing -this- IT – mysterious darkness bearing light- to be the Maypole I find myself joyously dancing around as my life is woven into such rich beauty around me.

Witnessing my moms passing is the wildest, scariest inconceivable leap into the unknown yet. (She is still here, but hanging by an ever more worn thread.) No one ever really prepared me for this one, this particular event. This is my Death Doulaness, the Death Cafe – allowing/creating an opening so I (which has become a WE) can be present with the darkness and learn to seed into it vastly- relying on the immanent- and eminent possibility -of life- to continue uninterrupted in its daily, weekly, monthly, yearly, rounds.Talking helps. Soothes. Normalizes. Allows the hard to be easy(er). Community. We do better together.

To me- every religious teaching hints at the embodied expereince of this leap of ‘faith’- The ancient Mysteries, Bohm’s implicate and explication order, every Labyrinth, Newgrange Spiral, Tarot Fool, Eschers’ discontinuity, Geb’s flip, Minoan Bull Leapers-, YingYang, the Resurrections – a whole world of countless motifs call to us across all humanity- all singing the same ancient song…dancing, because well, IT all ends and begins with Love- which is a passage. A movement. A twist, a leap. It allows us the womb and the tomb, the Pieta, who holds birth and death in her arms and says a vehement yes to both, not knowing how the hell it will unfold- but knowing it will, and she will be shaken, not stirred —– more powerful and present for the holding of opposites as they resolve themselves again and again in her arms.

🙏❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Fierce Mother Love: A Meditation on Presence

11 Dec

That’s my working title anyway.

I saw/received/ had the idea for this drawing last week and sketched it out in the margin of some notes I was taking. I originally saw a bat in the central spot where the face is now. An upside down bat, like a gargoyle – I was thinking Gothic Cathedral, Notre Dame style gargoyles.

And now…a presence. This Presence. Oh my.

Certainly she’s been called a bat, a crone, a hag, an old lady. Probably worse. Most definitely worse.

All I know is that from where I sit, those word concepts do not jive with this Lady. This is fierce Mother Love. A uncompromising Love for Our Planet and Every Thing that dwells there upon. All encompassing. All devouring. All embracing. The prevailing wind.

That’s what this place, this cathedral forest seeks. Lovers of change, of motion, of life in the tumultuous moment. Those still centers that can witness Life in its endless cycling; unafraid.

Nurturing, holding, keeping, supporting, restoring, preparing, sustaining, soothing, reflecting: being with.

I am held. My new mantra.

I’ve finished two more forests and will post them soon-ish. These Forests are meditations, I think. Guides coming through? Hands/help reaching/piercing the veil. There are better metaphors maybe, but these work for now. For me, this drawing feels/confirms that I/we are not alone. And today, that is a very kind and welcome thought.

🙏❤️

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

thank you for being kind

27 Jul

In the world of system theory, I am a ‘flow-through’. Energy, information and matter flows into me and is transformed through my experiences and intention as it continues on its way. I am amazed by this, but it makes me think how often I misuse the tremendous potential I hold if this is true.

More often than not, I falter around in my little version of myself as ‘self-world’. I can’t see anything beyond myself, or others with whom I identify, and I put all my energy and effort into protecting my beliefs, my beloveds and the ‘life’ I have precariously carved out for myself. I use my capacity for thinking and desire to create myriad levels of separation; ‘me vs. ‘them’. I know where I stand, right? I know who I am.

Yet, as you read these words, and the concepts they contain, a part of me extends into you. The ‘process’ that is me has extended far beyond my skin, into the cortex of your brain. I have flowed right into you. How do you separate me from you? Or you from those around you? This is the much larger ‘selfness’ of which I am becoming aware. I find myself more often than not re- experiencing the world as my extended self and its story as my extended story.

But after all, I have a place in this world, my own identity and a separateness that defines ‘who-I-am’. –or do I?  Do I need separation to belong? Or can I just pull up a chair and join the family?

And now that I know that how I choose to live my life affects you, will I choose to give you more chaos or bless you with harmony? I used to think that I was only accountable for the transformation of myself, but now it seems that to some degree, although not my intention, I find myself accountable for the transformation of my world as well.

Tags: , , , ,