Hello! Guess What! Pixie Tarot (me) making my debut as the first reader for the event! Excited to support this fundraiser for the preservation of our beautiful Midwestern land.
I also entered ‘Borderline’ – a golden skyward view of the dazzling late summer afternoons of the Midwest. It’s colored pencil with lots of gold paint.
Pixie Business Cards!
I flew in from outside to record this video as it started raining. I’d been re-potting all the plants that will be over-wintering in the house. I also cut my thumb on a pot shard…so as you see in the video, I’ve got lovely dirt under my fingernails and the dumb band-aid. My mother would be appalled, but I posted the video anyway. Sure, I could have re-filmed it, but then it wouldn’t be spontaneous, and I apparently prefer spontaneity over a good scrub. Nevermind. Come out and see me and the other wonderful artists, artisans and musicians at Art of the Land ! You’ll enjoy yourself, and I promise I’ll come clean by Friday night!
Here’s the deets: Colored Pencil Technique Janet Balboa
MON 10:00-11:30am $114 for 7 weeks; $65 for 4 weeks (1.5 hour class) Crystal Lake studio
Explore the magic of colored pencil! Each week begins with a short demonstration and technique practice, followed by guided time to apply what you’ve learned in a small, finished piece. This class is ideal for anyone eager to deepen their skills and experiment with color, layering, and texture.
Step by step class to expand your art skills with instructor demonstrations.
Well, my art, i find, at the end of the day, is really very much all about myself, in the sense of some former me shining a light into places I’m meant to explore a little deeper… and sometimes it takes absolute years for me to meander ’round to an earlier excavation site.
So I find myself re experiencing the Myth of Medusa. Another Teaching Story, meant, like all good stories, to capture the Imagination of the child and thus allow the latent seeds of transformation to hitchhike, and eventually unfurl, far along the trajectory of a life.
I don’t remember what year it was when I drew this particular Medusa, but hey, she’s resonating with me presently.
The journey for me is already years-deep into the Forest Primeval, apprehending an ancient wound that disfigures boundaries, self- worth and my current purpose. How else to say it? Idk. My mind, when I’m inspired to draw, typically prefers to show what it cannot say.
I think Im implying that if a picture can paint a thousand words, you can then imagine possibilities. This also is the eternal beauty of myths. There really is no ‘right’ answer. And Wonder and Curiosity are close cousins to not knowing/being open.
Like Delphi, this open-ended brand of wisdom mainly leaves you to play in the gardens of your own fertile Imagination. And is this not the unconditioned mind? The crossroads where it’s very appropriate to allow yourself to wonder “What if…and then wait for direction. It’ll come. Yours. The direction meant for you. Not what your supposed to do. The direction you’ll walk in, the very present path life is offering you. Who you will become?
So there you have it. Medusa. I wonder what she says to me now? And, the wondering itself shows me a path I haven’t explored fully.
So – I couldn’t wait- wanting to SEEEEEEE how this was gonna look IN COLOR. I just started watercoloring before this picture is even finished. (I have never watercolored over graphite on such a big piece. (16 x 20) Yikes.)
I always find new approaches inherently risky. And that’s why I opt for it, artistically, anyway. It pulls the rug out and makes me think on my feet. Use what I’ve got: Paint that’s lying around. Relying on my extremely rusty watercolor skill -set. Possibly ruining a picture that doesn’t really need any paint at all…
i also think- God knows that as I’ve been Arting around since forever, I’ve got a vague idea of the way forward, yet do not feel confident about my skills, this new thing I’m trying, and so I am finding myself disoriented.
(The fact that I have this gorgeouscompilation of DANIEL SMITH watercolors just languishing is a huge motivator. The colors are so amazing. I got them 2 years ago, courtesy of a much appreciated Christmas gift certificate. I’ve decided to use them for this picture.)
Anyway, as I’m painting, my picture goes through my typical arc- The it sucks or crappy phase- which for me, I’ve learned, is often the most productive part of the creative act. It actually makes the risk more of an adventure as both my right and left brain come online together.
I know why I don’t feel right about it:
I dislike it because it doesn’t look like what it feels like in my mind. I don’t know what to do next. I’ve lost the plot.
What to do? I mentally refresh all the feels by re-visiting these 5 questions, the exact same ones I asked myself as I was composing this picture several months ago;
Which way is it?
Where will things be placed- and why?
What are the most basic shapes?
Where is it?
Are there any?
Wondering about the basic premises I started with allows for a kind of hyper- focusing, and I can ‘see’ a way forward, a technique, a process. In other words, I know exactly what to do next.
I’m mighty glad I sucked it up and went out on the proverbial limb and was able to catch the next neural branching. Growth, learning, and expansion become possible mainly at the boundaries. The ecotones between what I know and what I don’t know. The fertile ground of possibilities.
Which is leading to a type of NEW YEARS.
RESOLUTION.
How about this: To make it a habit of mine to dwell here among possibilities, the unknown – and then choose the courageous thing. If it’s true in art, is it true in life?!☘️
Happy New Year
May you be merry and bright🩷🥂💃🎂🙏🤣🐈⬛❄️❤️🐖🖍🤪😜🤣🧸☔️🔥🔥🦄
The foundation of my teaching! A cute little infographic❤️
Nothings been coming in for awhile…no forests in my head, been working on other things.
For instance, I’m turning my Graphite Toolkit class into an online course- it’s been so successful in helping other artists that I’m like why not? (Cause it’s a lot of work, that’s why not), but now I’ve got lesson plans, videos and I’m also teaching it ‘live’ on zoom one more time, to iron out the wrinkles. I really really really love teaching , so despite the hard core organization, technical difficulties, massive learning curve – this is SO worth it to me to put an effort towards.
AND! I’m putting together a draw-along video class for kids (you and your grandkids, etc,👩🎨) download and print, follow along lessons you can do free on YouTube.
I’m telling you all this because this is happening for one reason, many moons in arriving. I am (finally) allowing myself to *just* be my crazy-ass artist self. It’s been a long road to get ‘here’, which is really only a very tiny shift in my perception and allowing of myself.
I tell you this as well. Joseph Campbell was correct when he mused, “Just do the thing that lights you up. And when you do, the whole world opens up to you. Unseen hands reach out from all quarters.” I paraphrase him – simply meaning that the help, opportunities, and connections are extraordinary in the sense of their ability to astound and delight me. I believe firmly we all have this inner spark- meant to jump start us when we most need it, to leap out of us and alight somewhere out there- a reflective collaborative Muse with our name on it. Inspiration. The top-secret ingredient in a really glorious life. We’ve always known this, whispered it to each other across countless ages. Allowing yourself, as you, reach that tentative, tremored younger, gentler, more adventurous self out into this modern world
Get to know yourself again. Look around you and see what inspires you now. What takes your breath away? Stops you in your tracks. Feels wonder-ful. That sense of aliveness. This is the gift of The Muse. Not a drawing, a book, a song, or any creation, but expression. The expression. The fuel of creativity. Creativity is a hallmark of humanity.
Get inspired.
Get to know yourself again, out in the world. Your reflection. I bet you find, like I am discovering now, all my friends accept me for exactly who I am. I’m the only one denying myself here. Bet it’s the same for you.
I think of the cave painting- the handprints of our distant ancestors on cavern walls- binding us in our individual expressions. That spark that makes you, you – the differentiating part of us that allows for our individuality – our unique handprint. What inspires you to do what you do? Find that and you’re golden. No one can take it away, it’s like nothing else in the world, it’s for sure magically delicious and it’s the inner core of your be-ing-in-the-world. You can truly be none other than who-you-are.
Come act out in the world in the way that suits you best, the way that makes you happy, and the way that best nourishes your soul. The response for me has been not easy, but delightful, one I wish I hadn’t waited so long to experience.
I express myself through my art. That may not be the way you have chosen to express yourself. Coolio. Art isn’t just for artists. Inspiration is you in action. The Muse does not rest on her laurels often. She is come and gone. You’re the one that actually takes the next inspired step. She merely gets your attention with some possibilities. Then, when she’s gone, or maybe a little before, I pick up my pencils and I begin working on getting a little more of myself onto paper, out in the world, some graffiti for the collective walls.🙏❤️👩🎨
Today is one of those days. I feel a shadowy presence roaming along the borders of my consciousness. I sense it there, unformed; a half-life seeking birth and expression. Its lack of definition offers me unrest and dis-ease. I understand. I used to let these vague feelings of non-being permeate my entire day, my entire being – I identified with it. Now I realize that I am (rather considerately) being warned that the ground is about to shift under my feet and that I must pay attention. Knowing this, I will happily go about my business without the depression and ennui that once took my days. I am waiting for the birthing of…something.
I know now that ‘The Daemon’ is in charge. The daemon is the ancient Greek concept of our genius- that outer entity that is half responsible for our creative work. As Elizabeth Gilbert shares so brilliantly in her TED talk on ‘your elusive creative genius’, we are not solely responsible for our creativity- our job is to just show up at the desk, in the studio, wherever we do our work. The Genius’ job is to provide, well, the genius. We must put the work in, we must ask the questions, we must agonize over the problem at hand. And once we come to that frustratingly terrible impasse, that point at which we often give up in frustration- that is the moment the call goes out. My yoga instructor told me last week that you are not really ‘in the pose’ until you are ready to come out of it. Right? The Genius is just like that. It’s when we are calling it a day that the real work has been done.
I once heard a lovely story about Monet. It was said that he had a spot in his garden where his neighbor would often see him sitting in the sunshine, doing nothing. ‘Ah, the life of a painter- all work!’ joked the neighbor. ‘Indeed’ said Monet, ‘when I sit here, you are watching me work. When I paint- that is the easy part.’ When we are inspired- filled with the spirit of the thing- it takes us over and it moves us. There is no thinking, just doing, and we rarely have doubt concerning what is to be done. Beautiful clarity, flow and fitting of things together.
When your daemon is doing its thing, however; offering no resistance is the key to one’s sanity. It is best to just ‘drift, wait and obey’. This was Rudyard Kipling’s mantra and was also successfully used by Harold Arlen, the famous Hollywood composer, who seemed to have brilliant song lyrics just fall into his lap. How did he do it? ‘I drift, wait and obey.’ Like Monet, and all creatives, he had agonized over the problem at hand, tried to come up with his own brand of amazing, but just couldn’t get it. Then…he let it go. Went for a drive with his wife as the story goes. Suddenly he was scribbling away like a maniac in the car, the words for Somewhere Over the Rainbow appearing in dazzling perfection for The Wizard of Oz.
Allow for this drifting. Be patient with waiting. It’s hard for me today, I want to be busy. I want to feel ‘productive’. However, I know better than to fight it. I know better than to help the butterfly out of the cocoon. This birth must happen on its own terms, in its own time. Will it be stunning? Amazing? Fireworks of brilliance? Who knows? Far more likely scenario: a subtle revelation of something incredibly obvious that has finally moved from my head to my heart – a slow burning thing that will change my life from the inside out.
I put my pens and paper away today. I will do as Kipling did- take a walk in the lush Sussex countryside snow covered suburbs – and be at peace with the process. My process. I welcome the help; glad the Muse has shown up as anticipated. I call, she comes. That’s the job of a genius after all. It is helpful to know this now, to know that I must watch and wait. Many times over the years, I have given up in frustration, only to stay closed as the many signs appeared that were to guide me to my next adventure. I called, The Genius showed up- and I missed it, cursing her lack of attention.
But she is my other half, for better or for worse, in sickness, and health; my ancient partner in creativity and life. Maybe I’ll light a candle to honor her coming – or burn some incense. I think she’d appreciate this more than a plate of cookies with milk, the typical offering for quasi-real people who magically enter the house bearing gifts. It’s comforting to know my work is done and I can have open mind rather than obsessive mind. I can allow time to work on my breathing and create the necessary inner space for transformation.
Today is one of those days. I feel a shadowy presence roaming along the borders of my consciousness. I sense it there, unformed; a half-life seeking birth and expression. Its lack of definition offers me unrest and dis-ease. I understand. I used to let these vague feelings of non-being permeate my entire day, my entire being – I identified with it. Now I realize that I am (rather considerately) being warned that the ground is about to shift under my feet and that I must pay attention. Knowing this, I will happily go about my business without the depression and ennui that once took my days. I am waiting for the birthing of…something.
The Journey 