Well, my art, i find, at the end of the day, is really very much all about myself, in the sense of some former me shining a light into places I’m meant to explore a little deeper… and sometimes it takes absolute years for me to meander ’round to an earlier excavation site.
So I find myself re experiencing the Myth of Medusa. Another Teaching Story, meant, like all good stories, to capture the Imagination of the child and thus allow the latent seeds of transformation to hitchhike, and eventually unfurl, far along the trajectory of a life.
I don’t remember what year it was when I drew this particular Medusa, but hey, she’s resonating with me presently.
The journey for me is already years-deep into the Forest Primeval, apprehending an ancient wound that disfigures boundaries, self- worth and my current purpose. How else to say it? Idk. My mind, when I’m inspired to draw, typically prefers to show what it cannot say.
I think Im implying that if a picture can paint a thousand words, you can then imagine possibilities. This also is the eternal beauty of myths. There really is no ‘right’ answer. And Wonder and Curiosity are close cousins to not knowing/being open.
Like Delphi, this open-ended brand of wisdom mainly leaves you to play in the gardens of your own fertile Imagination. And is this not the unconditioned mind? The crossroads where it’s very appropriate to allow yourself to wonder “What if…and then wait for direction. It’ll come. Yours. The direction meant for you. Not what your supposed to do. The direction you’ll walk in, the very present path life is offering you. Who you will become?
So there you have it. Medusa. I wonder what she says to me now? And, the wondering itself shows me a path I haven’t explored fully.
So – I couldn’t wait- wanting to SEEEEEEE how this was gonna look IN COLOR. I just started watercoloring before this picture is even finished. (I have never watercolored over graphite on such a big piece. (16 x 20) Yikes.)
I always find new approaches inherently risky. And that’s why I opt for it, artistically, anyway. It pulls the rug out and makes me think on my feet. Use what I’ve got: Paint that’s lying around. Relying on my extremely rusty watercolor skill -set. Possibly ruining a picture that doesn’t really need any paint at all…
i also think- God knows that as I’ve been Arting around since forever, I’ve got a vague idea of the way forward, yet do not feel confident about my skills, this new thing I’m trying, and so I am finding myself disoriented.
(The fact that I have this gorgeouscompilation of DANIEL SMITH watercolors just languishing is a huge motivator. The colors are so amazing. I got them 2 years ago, courtesy of a much appreciated Christmas gift certificate. I’ve decided to use them for this picture.)
Anyway, as I’m painting, my picture goes through my typical arc- The it sucks or crappy phase- which for me, I’ve learned, is often the most productive part of the creative act. It actually makes the risk more of an adventure as both my right and left brain come online together.
I know why I don’t feel right about it:
I dislike it because it doesn’t look like what it feels like in my mind. I don’t know what to do next. I’ve lost the plot.
What to do? I mentally refresh all the feels by re-visiting these 5 questions, the exact same ones I asked myself as I was composing this picture several months ago;
Which way is it?
Where will things be placed- and why?
What are the most basic shapes?
Where is it?
Are there any?
Wondering about the basic premises I started with allows for a kind of hyper- focusing, and I can ‘see’ a way forward, a technique, a process. In other words, I know exactly what to do next.
I’m mighty glad I sucked it up and went out on the proverbial limb and was able to catch the next neural branching. Growth, learning, and expansion become possible mainly at the boundaries. The ecotones between what I know and what I don’t know. The fertile ground of possibilities.
Which is leading to a type of NEW YEARS.
RESOLUTION.
How about this: To make it a habit of mine to dwell here among possibilities, the unknown – and then choose the courageous thing. If it’s true in art, is it true in life?!☘️
Happy New Year
May you be merry and bright🩷🥂💃🎂🙏🤣🐈⬛❄️❤️🐖🖍🤪😜🤣🧸☔️🔥🔥🦄
The foundation of my teaching! A cute little infographic❤️
Nothings been coming in for awhile…no forests in my head, been working on other things.
For instance, I’m turning my Graphite Toolkit class into an online course- it’s been so successful in helping other artists that I’m like why not? (Cause it’s a lot of work, that’s why not), but now I’ve got lesson plans, videos and I’m also teaching it ‘live’ on zoom one more time, to iron out the wrinkles. I really really really love teaching , so despite the hard core organization, technical difficulties, massive learning curve – this is SO worth it to me to put an effort towards.
AND! I’m putting together a draw-along video class for kids (you and your grandkids, etc,👩🎨) download and print, follow along lessons you can do free on YouTube.
I’m telling you all this because this is happening for one reason, many moons in arriving. I am (finally) allowing myself to *just* be my crazy-ass artist self. It’s been a long road to get ‘here’, which is really only a very tiny shift in my perception and allowing of myself.
I tell you this as well. Joseph Campbell was correct when he mused, “Just do the thing that lights you up. And when you do, the whole world opens up to you. Unseen hands reach out from all quarters.” I paraphrase him – simply meaning that the help, opportunities, and connections are extraordinary in the sense of their ability to astound and delight me. I believe firmly we all have this inner spark- meant to jump start us when we most need it, to leap out of us and alight somewhere out there- a reflective collaborative Muse with our name on it. Inspiration. The top-secret ingredient in a really glorious life. We’ve always known this, whispered it to each other across countless ages. Allowing yourself, as you, reach that tentative, tremored younger, gentler, more adventurous self out into this modern world
Get to know yourself again. Look around you and see what inspires you now. What takes your breath away? Stops you in your tracks. Feels wonder-ful. That sense of aliveness. This is the gift of The Muse. Not a drawing, a book, a song, or any creation, but expression. The expression. The fuel of creativity. Creativity is a hallmark of humanity.
Get inspired.
Get to know yourself again, out in the world. Your reflection. I bet you find, like I am discovering now, all my friends accept me for exactly who I am. I’m the only one denying myself here. Bet it’s the same for you.
I think of the cave painting- the handprints of our distant ancestors on cavern walls- binding us in our individual expressions. That spark that makes you, you – the differentiating part of us that allows for our individuality – our unique handprint. What inspires you to do what you do? Find that and you’re golden. No one can take it away, it’s like nothing else in the world, it’s for sure magically delicious and it’s the inner core of your be-ing-in-the-world. You can truly be none other than who-you-are.
Come act out in the world in the way that suits you best, the way that makes you happy, and the way that best nourishes your soul. The response for me has been not easy, but delightful, one I wish I hadn’t waited so long to experience.
I express myself through my art. That may not be the way you have chosen to express yourself. Coolio. Art isn’t just for artists. Inspiration is you in action. The Muse does not rest on her laurels often. She is come and gone. You’re the one that actually takes the next inspired step. She merely gets your attention with some possibilities. Then, when she’s gone, or maybe a little before, I pick up my pencils and I begin working on getting a little more of myself onto paper, out in the world, some graffiti for the collective walls.🙏❤️👩🎨
Day 9. A Millstatt Face. Millstatt Abbey is a former monastery in Millstatt, Austria. In this City of Mil, we find that ancient Celtic beliefs were overlayed with Christian beliefs in 1070 AD, when the Benedictines took over. The city itself is named after the Celtic creation god, Mil, as it translates literally, ‘City of Mil.’ Well then. Locals believe that an ancient place of worship existed here as least as far back as Charlemagne, if not before. The town’s name certainly implies that this holy place has pagan beginnings. In a beautiful carving, typically stylized Celtic faces peer out from above the massive entryway. The scene over the door shows
‘the sun, moon and stars watching Millstatt Monastery being given into the hands of Christ by its founder and are struck dumb (literally, they have no mouths) by this pious act. Could this be an unconscious reference to the silencing of the ancient pagan beliefs?’ says Historic Impressions.
Now whether or not you’re pagan isn’t the point. Or at least not my point. I’m wondering if the face peering from behind the crescent moon has a right to speak? Is he not allowed a voice just because he comes from a different perspective? And I wonder about the many, many artists who have effectively allowed themselves to be silenced, not from fear of persecution, but by our modern day fears of self-doubt, insecurity and general unwillingness to accept and believe in our true worth. WHICH IS PRICELESS. So is it fair that we silence ourselves- or anyone, for that matter, because our opinions don’t reflect the status quo? Because we ‘don’t believe in ourselves’ anymore?’ Because we’re afraid to speak our truth?
We live in a time of incredible freedom – we pride ourselves on this very freedom. We say we value ‘mavericks’, ‘individuals’. Well? Standing up for what you believe and expressing it takes great courage, mastery and discipline. So does being an artist. Mavericks. Deviants. Bohemians. ARTISTS. Celebrate that creativity, use your freedom of expression. Be courageous. The world need artists, just as it always has needed court jesters. Truth needs to be expressed, one way or the other. Don’t be silenced by fear. Let your heart open and express your truth.
The daughters
of your daughters
of your daughters
are likely to remember you,
And most importantly,
Follow in your tracks.
~ Clarissa Pinkola Estes
I came across this quote yesterday. And whether or not this remembering and following actually happens, it startled me into thinking that it could possibly happen.
Thankfully, I no longer react with fear to information like this. I would have, in the past. But today, in my present incarnation, i feel no pressure to sit down and write a list of goals, or see my life from the perspective of my funeral, or any of the other suggestions for leaving a legacy and insuring that my life matters.
Because my life here really does matter. It matters most of all, quite appropriately, I think, to me.
Unlike all my years at goal-setting, outward focused energy, I have found that what comes bubbling up from my own inner depths has the truth, elegance and beauty to actually sustain me. Money, accomplishments, notoriety are incredibly delicious and necessary in degrees. We do after all, live in a material world.
But what I would assume my great great grandaughters will find worth following is not to be found in abundance in the business section of the bookstore. I imagine they, like I, will hunger for authenticity and truth. For equality, the ability to love freely and a zest for life that will see them through to the end and beyond. They will need courage to express themselves honestly and compassionately without fear of retribution, derrision or judgement. They will need a hell of a lot of self love in order to love their world and those in it fiercely – exactly as it presents itself.
So I try to be quiet often, to be patient with myself, and to forgive. I try to love myself for my light and my dark, knowing that in my greatest fears are my greatest gifts. I try to be comfortable with myself and my life. I try to let go of the outer results and focus on the inner causes.
This has led me to settle on a way of life that honors my deep inner movement and knowing. A way of life that is not dictated by externals yet encompasses them. A way of life that makes all of my rather ordinary moments potentially extraordinary. Every great mystic and spiritual teacher has stressed the internal life as more ‘real’ than the outer material world. I find this to be the case with my own life. If my inner rhythm is honored, and I see outer events as effects of my inner causes, then whatever presents itself is exactly as it should be. No questions asked. I have the choice always in what action or response I wish to take. How do you do this without freaking out? With absolutely trust? In the face of your initial response being ‘this sucks…’
Enter Tolstoy and The Three Questions.*
What is the right time for every action?
Who is the most important person?
What is the most important thing to do?
(And thankfully, The Three Answers:)
The most important time is now. The present moment is the only place or time in which we have any power.
The most important person is the person in front of you.
The most important thing to do is to do good to that person in front of you.
Most circumstances and situations involve people, so most everything is included. Animals can and often do present themselves. And small children. And inconvenient requests. Death and dis-ease are included and honored. And moments of great clarity and beauty. And a satisfaction and strength in your own convictions and way of living.
It is challenging. It makes me slow down. It forces me to think, to prioritize from the inside out. It makes me smile when I go to bed. It makes me look forward to a day of one-thing-one-moment-at-a-time. It takes getting used to. It makes me sigh with relief. When I focus this way, my internal knowing takes over, I trust and honor myself on the fly. I trust that the next moment will arrive exactly as it should be, and that I will have the courage and strength to allow it.
And there you have it. A simple, elegant formula for living a life that ulimately will bring you great peace of mind, upon which joy will surely follow and voilá – a life worth living – on your own terms. I am leaving the very track that I am also following, left to me by those who came before, who also had the courage and love to honor themselves, their music and their call.
*From Wikipedia -“The Three Questions” is a short story by Russian author Leo Tolstoy first published in 1885[citation needed] as part of the collection What Men Live By, and other tales. The story takes the form of a parable, and it concerns a king who wants to find the answers to what he considers the three most important questions in life.
Day 9. A Millstatt Face. 
The Journey 