The Journey

curation (n.)

late 14c., curacioun, “curing of disease, restoration to health,” from Old French curacion “treatment of illness,” from Latin curationem, “a taking care, attention, management,”

I happened across  Bruce Liptons’ video on healing yesterday, and he’s made me wonder about the ultimate flexibility of my emotional  attachments to my early behavioral patterns and beliefs. The very elements and images that compose the stories I whisper to myself.

It’s made me play around more deeply with the concept that my internal narration story is not all mine, never could have been all mine… and better yet, how I might be able to actually use this intel to reset my narrative to one that’s far kinder for me personally and for the world at large.

I tend to entertain the idea that my personal narrative expresses as “who-i-am-what-surrounds-me”.

Or, my self/world is a reflection. A very reciprocal arrangement.

In this sense, I’m already years deep into an effort to create a story that suits this “grown-up” (debatable) me, reflects how I feel now, with my adult size intellect, body, and emotions- all aligned in a healthy relationship.

So back to Bruce.

IF we are influenced by our mothers’ emotional state in utero, if she’s afraid or jubilant – or anywhere in between – she shares the chemical signature of that emotion with us through our shared blood. We learn the chemical signature of the emotion. According to Bruce, our brain is in a receptive theta brain wave state until the ripe old age of age 7. In utero and out, we simply absorb, without thinking,  emotional feeling states and patterns of behavior. Little sponges.

As kids, we repeat what we are exposed to, so voila – here are my habits laid out before me. I suspect these habits are all nicely aligned with my beliefs at levels seen and unseen…and I can change them.

I add to all this intrigue Michael Egnors‘ observation on ‘free won’t’- 

‘…it isn’t so much that you have free will but you have free won’t. That is, you have the ability to decide whether or not you are going to comply with what your brain is urging you to do.‘

So I wonder:

1) IF I am able to decide NOT to act on a brain urge (one of my ‘subconscious’ impulses) for example, a pattern/habit that I have inherited; let’s say fruitless worrying- it seems that by

2) noticing the urge/pattern as it arises and changing my behavior in response,

I would begin to effectively change/disrupt the ‘set’ habitual story/pattern I que up unconsciously and thus create a new experience for myself/world.

So my real-life experiment looks like this:  I catch myself in my habitual act of fruitless worrying and consciously decide to NOT run this pattern/narrative, choosing to tend to a *new* non-conditioned version of myself. I stop and curate my experience with these questions:

What am I intending? Where am I directing my thoughts? Past? Present? Future? Here or There?

What vibe am I emitting? What is my chemical signature? More toward fear or love? Open or Closed?

I reason that if I can get clarity on my thoughts and emotions, I can choose a new pattern of behavior that will with practice, become the new me.

Re-writing my programming. Telling a new story. Forming new habits…

-and the kicker is I have no exactly no idea how this change will reflect back to me except in kind- if I am open and present, I will be pleasantly surprised.

If I’m closed and not present, it will be a different story altogether.

Tags: #janetbalboa, awareness, behavior, being present, beliefs, change, curating, earychildhood, experiences, freewill, freewont, growth, healing, intention, inuteroimprint, mindset, patterns, personalnarrative, selfworld, stories, transform