Tag Archives: belonging

Embracing Life and Death: A Journey of Surrender

23 Aug

As its most elegant expression, our Moon Cycling facilitates a way to understand/experience ‘being with’.
Being with… the span of our lives, long or short, birth to death- and the beauty and terror we are capable of holding/encompassing as human beings.

Being with our Experience, our lived experience of the events of our life as they occur to us…present, before thought, before our concept of :how: things ‘should’ be in order to maintain our often narrowly conditioned narratives and labels.

I am learning again and again to surrender into a darkness that holds not terror, but healing, a darkness that is ultimately the bearer of light-

It’s a surrender to the depths, in the depths, to that which is, that which holds me regardless of who I am, what I’ve achieved, how i am or the choices I make…unconditional….. ultimately, of course, we name it love. It is not romantic. It is a rough passage. A dark night.The descent is not for the faint of heart.Religious? Goddess? Spiritual? Christ? Pieta? Yes, yet just more labels.

Experientially, for me, IT is what is, and it holds with such grace and partnership that slowly I am unfurling. Allowing -this- IT – mysterious darkness bearing light- to be the Maypole I find myself joyously dancing around as my life is woven into such rich beauty around me.

Witnessing my moms passing is the wildest, scariest inconceivable leap into the unknown yet. (She is still here, but hanging by an ever more worn thread.) No one ever really prepared me for this one, this particular event. This is my Death Doulaness, the Death Cafe – allowing/creating an opening so I (which has become a WE) can be present with the darkness and learn to seed into it vastly- relying on the immanent- and eminent possibility -of life- to continue uninterrupted in its daily, weekly, monthly, yearly, rounds.Talking helps. Soothes. Normalizes. Allows the hard to be easy(er). Community. We do better together.

To me- every religious teaching hints at the embodied expereince of this leap of ‘faith’- The ancient Mysteries, Bohm’s implicate and explication order, every Labyrinth, Newgrange Spiral, Tarot Fool, Eschers’ discontinuity, Geb’s flip, Minoan Bull Leapers-, YingYang, the Resurrections – a whole world of countless motifs call to us across all humanity- all singing the same ancient song…dancing, because well, IT all ends and begins with Love- which is a passage. A movement. A twist, a leap. It allows us the womb and the tomb, the Pieta, who holds birth and death in her arms and says a vehement yes to both, not knowing how the hell it will unfold- but knowing it will, and she will be shaken, not stirred —– more powerful and present for the holding of opposites as they resolve themselves again and again in her arms.

🙏❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Join the Conversation at Death Café in Woodstock

11 Aug

☕ Death Café
An open conversation about life, death, and everything in between.
No agenda. No judgment. Just tea, snacks, and honesty.

Wednesday, August 20th, 5-7pm
The Foodshed, Woodstock

Come curious. Leave connected.
Facilitating: Sabrina Cienfuegos

Exploring the Myth of Medusa: A Personal Journey

25 Feb

Well, my art, i find, at the end of the day, is really very much all about myself, in the sense of some former me shining a light into places I’m meant to explore a little deeper… and sometimes it takes absolute years for me to meander ’round to an earlier excavation site.

So I find myself re experiencing the Myth of Medusa. Another Teaching Story, meant, like all good stories, to capture the Imagination of the child and thus allow the latent seeds of transformation to hitchhike, and eventually unfurl, far along the trajectory of a life.

I don’t remember what year it was when I drew this particular Medusa, but hey, she’s resonating with me presently.

The journey for me is already years-deep into the Forest Primeval, apprehending an ancient wound that disfigures boundaries, self- worth and my current purpose. How else to say it? Idk. My mind, when I’m inspired to draw, typically prefers to show what it cannot say.

  I think Im implying that if a picture can paint a thousand words, you can then imagine possibilities. This also is the eternal  beauty of myths. There really is no ‘right’ answer. And Wonder and Curiosity are close cousins to not knowing/being open.

Like Delphi, this open-ended brand of wisdom mainly leaves you to play in the gardens of your own fertile Imagination. And is this not the unconditioned mind? The crossroads where it’s very appropriate to allow yourself to wonder “What if…and then wait for direction. It’ll come. Yours. The direction meant for you. Not what your supposed to do. The direction you’ll walk in, the very present path life is offering you. Who you will become?

So there you have it. Medusa. I wonder what she says to me now? And, the wondering itself shows me a path I haven’t explored fully.

Buried treasure? Probs.

Capturing Hidden Moments in Art

29 Dec

Work in Progress:

Work in progress

I am working on another large contemplative piece- 12 x 16 inch Fluid hot press watercolor paper.

🌚☔️The mood is suiting the grey reflective December day. Funny, I started this in the late summer, and all those colorful zinnias were my models. Now, I’m compelled to add the many small hidden things that lurk around in the background, only venturing out when it’s safe to be seen,   and that’s not usually in the bright light of day, summer or reason…
It’s lovely out in the woods today- 🧸🐻🧸🐻

(Haven’t counted them yet, knowing there are more on the way. Dr. Sue- you’re counting I bet.)

🖍👩‍🎨My intention for this is a full color, water-color, and colored pencil extravaganza. That’s my style/technique challenge for myself to improve my skills set.
❤️My other intention, the one that eternally motivates me, is the creation of a space that can quietly open a door. A space that can lead to wonder, ponderings, curiosity, and maybe a little healthy lostness. That’s my experience anyway. Entertaining  new possibilities in whatever form they may take verges on the adventurous.

Embrace Your Inner Artist: Tips for Creative Expression

17 Nov

Nothings been coming in for awhile…no forests in my head, been working on other things.

For instance, I’m turning my Graphite Toolkit class into an online course- it’s been so successful in helping other artists that I’m like why not? (Cause it’s a lot of work, that’s why not), but now I’ve got lesson plans, videos and I’m also teaching it ‘live’ on zoom one more time, to iron out the wrinkles. I really really really love teaching , so despite the hard core organization, technical difficulties, massive learning curve – this is SO worth it to me to put an effort towards.

AND! I’m putting together a draw-along video class for kids (you and your grandkids, etc,👩‍🎨)  download and print, follow along lessons you can do free on YouTube.

I’m telling you all this because this is happening for one reason, many moons in arriving. I am (finally) allowing myself to *just* be my crazy-ass artist self. It’s been a long road to get ‘here’, which is really only a very tiny shift in my perception and allowing of myself.

I tell you this as well. Joseph Campbell was correct when he mused, “Just do the thing that lights you up. And when you do, the whole world opens up to you. Unseen hands reach out from all quarters.” I paraphrase him – simply meaning that the help, opportunities, and connections are extraordinary in the sense of their ability to astound and delight me. I believe firmly we all have this inner spark- meant to jump start us when we most need it, to leap out of us and alight somewhere out there- a reflective collaborative Muse with our name on it.  Inspiration. The top-secret ingredient in a really glorious life. We’ve always known this, whispered it to each other across countless ages. Allowing yourself, as you, reach that tentative, tremored younger, gentler, more adventurous self out into this modern world

Get to know yourself again. Look around you and see what inspires you now. What takes your breath away? Stops you in your tracks. Feels wonder-ful. That sense of aliveness. This is the gift of The Muse. Not a drawing, a book, a song, or any creation, but expression.  The expression. The fuel of creativity. Creativity is a hallmark of humanity.

Get inspired.

Get to know yourself again, out in the world. Your reflection. I bet you find, like I am discovering now, all my friends accept me for exactly who I am. I’m the only one denying myself here. Bet it’s the same for you.

I think of the cave painting- the handprints of our distant ancestors on cavern walls- binding us in our individual expressions.  That spark that makes you, you – the differentiating part of us that allows for our individuality – our unique handprint. What inspires you to do what you do? Find that and you’re golden. No one can take it away, it’s like nothing else in the world, it’s for sure magically delicious and it’s the inner core of your be-ing-in-the-world. You can truly be none other than who-you-are.

Come act out in the world in the way that suits you best, the way that makes you happy, and the way that best nourishes your soul. The response for me has been not easy, but delightful, one I wish I hadn’t waited so long to experience.

I express myself through my art. That may not be the way you have chosen to express yourself. Coolio. Art isn’t just for artists. Inspiration is you in action. The Muse does not rest on her laurels often. She is come and gone. You’re the one that actually takes the next inspired step. She merely gets your attention with some possibilities. Then, when she’s gone, or maybe a little before, I pick up my pencils and I begin working on getting a little more of myself onto paper, out in the world, some graffiti for the collective walls.🙏❤️👩‍🎨

Fierce Mother Love: A Meditation on Presence

11 Dec

That’s my working title anyway.

I saw/received/ had the idea for this drawing last week and sketched it out in the margin of some notes I was taking. I originally saw a bat in the central spot where the face is now. An upside down bat, like a gargoyle – I was thinking Gothic Cathedral, Notre Dame style gargoyles.

And now…a presence. This Presence. Oh my.

Certainly she’s been called a bat, a crone, a hag, an old lady. Probably worse. Most definitely worse.

All I know is that from where I sit, those word concepts do not jive with this Lady. This is fierce Mother Love. A uncompromising Love for Our Planet and Every Thing that dwells there upon. All encompassing. All devouring. All embracing. The prevailing wind.

That’s what this place, this cathedral forest seeks. Lovers of change, of motion, of life in the tumultuous moment. Those still centers that can witness Life in its endless cycling; unafraid.

Nurturing, holding, keeping, supporting, restoring, preparing, sustaining, soothing, reflecting: being with.

I am held. My new mantra.

I’ve finished two more forests and will post them soon-ish. These Forests are meditations, I think. Guides coming through? Hands/help reaching/piercing the veil. There are better metaphors maybe, but these work for now. For me, this drawing feels/confirms that I/we are not alone. And today, that is a very kind and welcome thought.

🙏❤️

Creative Community: Unleashing Joy at Paint and Sip Events

18 Sep

So paint and sip…


A demo is done on a huge easel in front of the group- the whole process is led, step by step- and an example of finished Art Work is on display to the group as well. All the tools you need are on the table in front of you. Name tags get you on a First Name Basis… with the whole room pretty much. 🤣

(So, You come in, sit down, chill, order a 🍷glass of something, get to know the peeps around you, listen to the 🎵 live music, settle in.
The venue helps:🐍Lou’s Lounge -after Eliza ‘Lou’ Ringling – snake-charming Ringling Sister to 🎪Ringling Brothers. The Ringlings are entagled with this place; The Dole – a historic mansion in Crystal Lake.

The idea: a bit of Surrender upfront to the process/flow of creating an art work. Something unknown and as yet unrealized by you. You see an end result – but yours may or may not come out like it. Certainly not exactly like it.
There is room for experimenting, augmenting, and making different choices.

The Follow Along orients you nicely to the work at hand, and also opens up a group flow, a group dynamic, and a level of connection with The Room.

After enough time, determined by you, the artist, you will Get the Hang of It = some confidence in your hand and the tools it holds. You /It becomes rhythmic, understandable, and now, you begin to add your own embellishments, touches, wonderings.

Tonight is not about practice, but execution; the making of some thing….encompassing a jazz band, friends old and new, lively chatter, and *doing* something creative, some thing tangible, using your hands, your body, all your senses -surrounded by others sharing the same experience.

🔥That’s the magic for me. It’s not often we express ourselves creatively in large groups together. Yet this is a very human, very ancient, very nurturing experience to have.

So yes, ‘Paint and Sip’… but really so much more, so much more potential to be had with this model. So much good can be done by creating together for ‘fun’. For Joy.

It’s who we are.
We were made to create-
and doing it together is a luxury.

#artist #paintandsip #thedole
#creativeartsclasses #community #artforhealing #sacredspace #nurturingself

You belong.

12 Jan

sacred ground janet balboa 2016

Some days it just good to know that you’re alive. That you have a pulse and that you’re breathing. That’s all we really have anyway.

Our connection to Life- through our breath- is the most sacred, the most Holy spot on earth. Our breath is in fact, the center of our personal little universe. It’s what holds us together and what binds us as one with all of life.

We are the Lords and Ladies of the great eternal dance around and about the Mystery that contains and sustains and delights in each and every one of us. We Belong. Delightful!